Be Still & Blog.... already.

Car seats ready. One little one buckled, but the other is still trying to learn. Untwisting the car seat arms...   "one arm, two arms, do you want me to help?".. "I can do it" she says. And so I wait. Yes, we were in a time crunch, and yes, it would have been more efficient for me to just buckle everything for her.   She struggled but she kept persevering… until she got it. And there were moments as we went in and out of the car that she needed me. But she didn't give up. She wanted to learn. She needed to learn. As I waited each time thinking about how easy it would have been for me to help her--- He reminded me that His kingdom isn't about efficiency. And then instead of anxiously waiting for the buckles to be done… I soaked it in as this sweet one floundered, persevered, grew. I was able to rejoice with her as each buckle was fastened (there seemed to be soo many), and a smile of triumph swept across her face with each victory! I found myself chee...

  She was a fearful one-- of storms, of stranger dangers... that neighborhood watch sign terrified her for years (she thought it meant someone had been kidnapped there before). She was eager to please. Straight A's in school, and a drive to excel in sports. She loved to read, pretend and insisted on being the mother and teacher... and she was a "tad" bossy and completely stubborn. She was (at least in her own mind) "the leader of the pack" of the neighborhood kids. Yet she was sensitive... passionate-- she felt deeply, and she loved being independent (probably a little too much). She had heard about Jesus growing up, said a prayer, but in saying it realized she didn't really understand, and she became afraid in a sense-- because she knew He was all those things that scripture said. And she knew somehow that she couldn't measure up, and so early on she chose to b...

Forgive? Haven't I already done that? No-- I found my myself  making a list (in my head of course) of the offense/s.. But what if he/she never says I'm sorry, Lord, what if he/she never understands the depth of the hurt, and what if you never choose for him/her to see any of these things and be broken over them. How could I forgive? and He just stopped me (in the middle of the list, good grief!) and said " Forgive them, for they know not what they do."  But! "Forgive them, for they know not what they do"     Because Jesus-- while hanging on a cross to pay the penalty for my sin--- my sin-- that put him there--- and while hanging there and being mocked and having done no wrong...  said "Father, forgive them for they know not what they do."  I wept, I felt the weight of what this meant... I realized that forgiveness really does mean absorbing the debt however painful it may be.   "When someone has wronged you, it m...

Real talk. Don't pretend you haven't had these conversations with Him or maybe it is just me. “Lord, I feel like you are crushing me…it is too much...What more?”(p.s. don't ask that question usually he finds more)  “unless a grain of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains alone, but if it dies, it bears   much fruit” “LORD, when will you take this ache away?” “when your righteousness goes forth as the noonday" and no, that's not the answer I wanted, it's not how I work but peace washed over.. "You keep Him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on you because he TRUSTS in you." Does that mean I haven't had this conversation over and over with Him, absolutely not but I do have His promise, and He is at work. I look for Him each day.. daily bread.  Sometimes we get caught up in the end result of our affliction and we start looking for the light at the end of the tunnel but what if that light doesn't come when we want it...

This takes the form of listening prayer. Unlike many of previous posts... it's really a  compilation of all the truths He has spoken to me over the last two months. These truths aren't just true for me... they are true for you too. Beloved, Why do you feast on the garbage of this world? Why is your measuring stick out to start your comparison games? Only to find yourself wanting—you spend your money on that which is not bread and you labor for that which does not satisfy. Beloved, I have made you uniquely. I knitted and formed you together in your mother’s womb fashioning your heart with great care…. You are altogether beautiful my love there is no flaw in you! I delight in you! I rejoice over you with singing! You are so precious to me that I sent my son to ransom you with His own blood. Beloved, my banner over you is love and though the earth gives way, though the mountains be moved into the heart of the sea, though its waters roar and foam, though the mountains t...

I was reminded recently of my love/hate relationship with the GPS. Literally, I had it for years and would only get it out for long trips. I would just rather someone tell me landmarks or general ideas...  I blame a GPS for getting me lost one time (no resentment or anything).. but I digress.  ALONE. 9 hours in the car. The longest I had ever driven by myself with not a clue as to where I was going.  My Mom and dad had given me a general scope of the directions but the GPS had to be turned on for this trip (at the risk of it getting me lost)... it was too long of a trip not to. About an hour or two into the drive, I discovered I had not gone the way my parents had given me. In fact, I had no idea where I was and I felt sick, and even more alone. My GPS wouldn't let me see all the directions at once--- it would just give them to me one by one. MISERABLE. I love whole pictures, and was impatient not to men...